Drunken pumpkin

So I have a group of friends who I get together with every Monday night. When 24 is on, we watch that. If it is not, then we usually watch a movie (preferably The Hangover or something about Pope John Paul II). So because of them, they are the reason I have yet to drag my OTP be-hind ITP to Monday Night Brewery to observe the talented gents there brewing and drink their FREE BEER. But that’s beside the point. Once a year we convene to carve pumpkins and celebrate our natural visceral instinct to behead and scoop out another person’s head (human nature, duh). It’s been three years now, and to be honest…I’m not a big pumpkin carving guy. I struggle every year to come up with something to carve.  Here are my past pumpkins:

  1. An outline of my hand (lazy, easy)
  2. A bucktoothed face (boring, dumb, COME ON!)

Truthfully, I’m pretty lackadaisical when it comes to sawing pumpkin flesh (Breaking NEWS!), and outside of the written word, I’m not super-creative (unless we’re talking macramé). HOWEVER, this year I was determined. I wanted to carve a booze-themed pumpkin come HELL OR HIGH WATER! So after much ponderation I came up with the following:

2009-10-26 22.56.39

Yep, a bottle pouring out BOOZE. I left it pretty ambiguous, so you could picture it as a beer bottle OR a fifth pouring out your favorite libation. The best part? IT WAS DEAD SIMPLE. Other than the typical de-capping and scooping nonsense, it’s mostly big, non-specific cuts. The “flowing booze” are just cuts made with the standard tools in a pumpkin carving kit, and a thin wall between candle and atmosphere. So simple. Here’s a shot taken in half-darkness (because things get blurry in full-dark):

2009-10-26 23.05.32

And in (blurry) full-dark:

2009-10-26 23.00.56

I apologize, if you didn’t know I’m 84 years old and I have shaky hands and a bad pancreas so sometimes these things are blurry because of all my shakes. But isn’t this so much better than the same old “barfing pumpkin” crap your mom sends you every year? “I saw this and it reminded me of you and your college friends. You boys are so silly. Lots Of Love!, Mom”. THANKS SO MUCH, MOM. So if you think you have a boozy pumpkin that can beat mine, post a link to the pic in the comments and Bring It On, Eliza Dushku style.


2 Responses to “Drunken Pumpkin”

  1. Slava Lenkov says:

    Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. I think that’s because it is legal. There are millions of people that are affected by it, thousands of which die. I was an alcoholic for 14 years and I thought there was no way out. There is a way out! I came to Narconon Arrowhead and they showed me the way out.

  2. Again a superb written article from you. Keep it up!

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