Kanye breaks bond between booze and beats

The history of booze and hip-hop is a long one.  Rap artists have been referencing, pimping, and outright promoting brands in their lyrics since “Rapper’s Delight” (and maybe before, but I’m not Dr. Raps-a-Lot over here).  The bond has been strong and beneficial for both parties.  Brands like Moet, Hennessey, E&J, Alize, Cristal, Patron, Courvoisier, Hypnotiq* and dozens more wouldn’t have the mainstream recognition they do today if not for their mention in incredibly popular hip-hop tracks.  And on the flipside, as Petey Pablo said in his timeless oeuvre ”Freek-a-Leek“: “I have to give a shout-out to Seagram’s Gin, cause I drink it, and they payin’ me for it“.  Everybody wins!

Which brings us to today (or yesterday, or whatever), the release of the new single off of Jay-Z’s much anticipated The Blueprint III “We Run This Town” featuring Rihanna and Kanye West.  Some of the biggest names in hip-hop and R&B!  Will they keep towing the long-carried thread of praising alcohol and keep it going strong?  I think you know (from the title, duh) that this isn’t exactly the case.  See if you can spot it:

Did you catch it?  It was just one line, but oh brother, what a line.  If you missed it, go back to around the 4:07 mark and listen to the HOT FYAH Kanye decides to spit:

And I’m beasting/off the Riesling”

Hahaha whaaaaaaaat!?!  The RIESLING!?!  What does that even mean?  That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!  Maybe not the dumbest, because I’ve listened to talk radio before, but COME ON!  Right now, your contemporaries are extolling the intoxicating virtues of Patron and Ciroc and a hundred other forms of alcohol, and you choose RIESLING?  The only wine with less street cred than that is white zinfandel, and it’s a pretty close race.  Look behind you Kanye, Rihanna is laughing at you (she really is in the video just after he says that line, go look!)!  And what is “beasting”?  I assume it means getting amped up in an aggressive manner, so I would love to know exactly how riesling in particular is the super-juice that is perfect for all your mega-hyped-up beasting needs.    Are you going to go raise some hell at the local Pottery Barn?  Plan on FREAKING OUT at brunch?  This should totally be the new tagline for riesling: “Riesling: When You Just Need to Start Some Shit at a Bridal Shower“.

I’m pretty sure this breaks the whole thing.  When one of the top hip-hop producers/artists in the WORLD makes the blunder of proclaiming to get FIRED UP on the wine most likely to be broken out by the Sophisticated Lady’s Guild of Eastern Connecticut (invitation only), we have to accept that rappers these days don’t know a damn thing about drinking, and cannot be trusted to be our beverage trendsetters anymore.  SHUT IT DOWN, PEOPLE.